THE ROUND TABLE – ISSUE 1

Three voices. Zero filters. One unapologetic conversation.

FASHION – The Beige Uniform

Mr. Her:

Everywhere I look, I see beige. Beige coats, beige sweaters, beige nails. Babe, are we dressing for a Zoom meeting from 2020 or living our best life in 2025? It’s giving witness protection chic. Don’t get me wrong, I love a good monochrome moment, but when everyone looks like a walking oat latte… I get bored. Fashion is supposed to feel alive, not like it just got steamed and stored in a capsule closet.

Mr. Him:

Alive? Beige was never alive. Beige is the fashion equivalent of elevator music — background noise. And this ‘quiet luxury’ trend? It’s not even quiet anymore. It’s loud in its desperation to be minimal. Beige isn’t timeless; it’s lazy when overdone. Wear color. Wear texture. Or at least wear something that doesn’t look like it belongs in a corporate office tour.

Mr. Who:

Excuse me, darlings. Beige can be divine — if it’s paired with the right drama. I’m talking beige with gold hardware, beige with couture tailoring, beige that whispers ‘I own a villa in Capri.’ The problem isn’t beige, it’s basic beige. If you can’t elevate it with attitude and accessories, then yes, burn it with your oat milk frother.

BEAUTY – Lip Tints That Don’t Tint

Mr. Her:

Lip tints that aren’t tinted — make it make sense. I bought a ‘rose flush lip tint’ last week, and after two swipes, I looked like I was wearing… ChapStick. And not even the cute cherry one. No pigment, just oily disappointment.

Mr. Him:

Exactly. Brands are selling overpriced lip balms with a fancy name and a promise of a tint that doesn’t exist. A lip tint should stain, should stay, and should not require reapplication every three minutes. If I wanted to spend $30 to look like I just licked Vaseline, I’d rather donate it to someone’s coffee fund.

Mr. Who:

Ugh, I refuse to wear something that doesn’t announce my presence. If I’m wearing a tint, it better scream luxury. Think bold but buildable pigment, think lips that tell a story before I even speak. If it’s not giving ‘Ciao bella,’ I’m not putting it on my face.

WELLNESS – Matcha Madness

Mr. Her:

Why is everyone obsessed with matcha? Every TikTok girlie is out here whisking like they’re in a Japanese tea ceremony, except they’re in a car, spilling almond milk everywhere. It’s fine — but honestly, it tastes like sweetened grass. If we’re being real.

Mr. Him:

Matcha is another overpriced wellness scam half the time. Half of these cafés are serving bitter, low-quality powder and selling it like it’s liquid gold. If you’re drinking matcha, at least make sure it’s ceremonial grade. Otherwise, you’re just paying $8 for hot green sadness.

Mr. Who:

Sweeties, matcha can be an art form. A creamy matcha latte in the right porcelain cup? Chic. But the moment it’s served in a plastic tumbler with foam like sea scum — tragic. Presentation matters. Matcha is not just a drink; it’s an aesthetic.

LIFESTYLE – Soft Life Culture

Mr. Her:

Soft life is cute until it’s fake. Everyone online is like, ‘I’m living my soft life, babe,’ but they’re stressed, broke, and still arguing on Twitter. Soft life isn’t about buying pastel mugs and journaling once. It’s about actually curating peace.

Mr. Him:

Soft life has become a marketing term. Half the people screaming about soft life are grinding harder than Wall Street interns just to get sponsored by a pillow brand. True soft life isn’t aesthetic; it’s financial security, boundaries, and choosing quality over chaos. Everything else? Noise.

Mr. Who:

Oh, I love a soft life. A real one. The kind where your sheets are silk, your calendar is curated, and your evenings start with a spritz of niche perfume. Soft life isn’t just an aesthetic — it’s a standard. If it doesn’t look effortless, then, darling, it’s just staged.

FINAL WORDS

Mr. Who (with a smirk):

And that’s this week’s truth, darlings. Beige is basic unless you own it. Lip tints need to tint. Matcha needs to stop pretending to be a personality trait. And soft life? It’s not for Instagram, it’s for the soul. Now go fix your closets.